Feb. 22nd, 2005

windelina: (overdose)
A new survey found that a majority of high schoolers think newspapers should not be allowed to publish without government approval. And almost one in five said that Americans should be prohibited from expressing unpopular opinions.

Lemme tell you little darlings something: This is my livelihood you're messing with, so either learn the Bill of Rights or you don't deserve Social Security.

Now, to those of you who think I'm overreacting: Yes, I understand that when you're in high school you're still very young and that no one really cares what kids say anyway -- it's not like priests are dating you for your brains.

But the younger generation is supposed to rage against the machine, not for it; they're supposed to question authority, not question those who question authority.

And what's so frightening is that we're seeing the beginnings of the first post-9/11 generation -- the kids who first became aware of the news under an "Americans need to watch what they say" administration, the kids who've been told that dissent is un-American and therefore justifiably punished by a fine, imprisonment -- or the loss of your show on ABC.

President Bush once asked, "Is our children learning?" No -- they isn't. A more appropriate question might be, "Is our teachers teaching?" In four years, you can teach a gorilla sign language. Is it too much to ask that in the same amount of time a kid be taught what those crazy hippies who founded this country had in mind?

I know the Morals & Values folks want us to take time out of the school day for prayer and the Ten Commandments and abstinence training and at least two theories of evolution -- the one agreed upon by every scientist in the world and the one that involves naked ladies and snakes -- but, lest we forget, last month the people of Iraq risked death and danger to send a simple, inspiring message: America, get out of our country. But also, we want the freedoms you take for granted.

Now, I didn't mind being on the losing side of the last election. But as a loser, I guess I have some "unpopular" opinions -- and I'd like to keep them. I'd even like to continue to say them right out loud on TV, because if I just get up there every Friday night and spout the Bush administration's approved talking points, that's not freedom or entertainment. It's Fox News.

WTF

Feb. 22nd, 2005 10:30 am
windelina: (hungover)
Against all odds and inclinations, here I am at work.
What's weird is that I wanted to be here. Mostly out of spite. "Hah! I've got a ton of sewing to do and a deadline to finish it by and nothing to do at work. But I'll show you! You tell me I have an attendance problem?! Suck it!"

Or something like that.

The Dry Tech on Friday was...interesting. Mostly short. The set mostly done. Lights, no. Sound, no. Still, it was useful and reassuring.
I still need to hear from the kids how Saturday went. (Josh called a tech work day on Saturday to finish the platform and paint stuff.)

I, meanwhile, was at the Board Retreat which was - as usual - fun and laid back. Despite some initial worries that we would not find the funny for our sketches, we eventually did. Mwahaha!! We also found the hot tub, loads of snack foods, and a good steak dinner and loads of conversation. We were actually very torpid and sleepy this year.

Sunday afternoon, I cut things out. Then I got a phone call from one of my kids about TechTard being a dork - again. (They were having a tsunami benefit concert, which has been advertised for weeks. And Techtard waits till the day of to make noises about shutting things down at 6pm because they didn't have permission to be there that late. My eyes are still rolling.) Then I went to the 90's to do my drag back-up dancer thing and ended up staying to watch the pageant, against all better judgment. The eye-splitting headache from the loud music and the smoke eventually forced me home, where I stayed all Monday. And after sleeping off the headache, I sewed.

First dress rehearsal was perhaps the most painful rehearsal ever endured in the history of high school theatre. My god. They got the browbeating afterwards with alot of horrific reminders of what Friday night will be like if they don't learn their lines. *sigh* And about 60-70% of the fixes showed up, so I need to get all those fixes back up there. The good thing was that the kids - when asked - knew that they had reverted to "pre-fix" stuff.

So, I got in the car, called Monte and asked him to make some mac-n-cheese, and cried for a bit. Got home and ate and went to bed for a few hours before getting up to sew.

I have a lot of sewing to accomplish. Maybe my illness will make a return here and I'll need to leave early...
windelina: (dori)
After every flight, Qantas pilots fill out a form, called a "gripe sheet," which tells mechanics about problems with the aircraft. The mechanics correct the problems, document their repairs on the form, and then pilots review the gripe sheets before the next flight. Never let it be said that ground crews lack a sense of humor. Here are some actual maintenance complaints submitted by Qantas' pilots and the solutions recorded by maintenance engineers.

By the way, Qantas is the only major airline that has never had an accident.

(P= The problem logged by the pilot.)
(S= The solution and action taken by mechanics.)

P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.

P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.

P: Something loose in cockpit.
S: Something tightened in cockpit.

P: Dead bugs on windshield.
S: Live bugs on back-order.

P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent.
S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.

P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
S: Evidence removed.

P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
S: DME volume set to more believable level.

P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
S: That's what they're for.

P: IFF inoperative.
S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.

P: Suspected crack in windshield.
S: Suspect you're right.

P: Number 3 engine missing.
S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.

P: Aircraft handles funny.
S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious.

P: Target radar hums.
S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.

P: Mouse in cockpit.
S: Cat installed.

P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget pounding on something with a hammer.
S: Took hammer away from midget.

EDIT: I posted this cuz I thought it was funny, not cuz I thought it was remotely real.
windelina: (Columbia)
Lock The Bathroom Door, Grover (from today's "You Are Dumb" www.youaredumb.net)

Memo to America's conservatives: WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU?

I understand just being conservative in general. Maybe you're against "big government", or maybe you're a screaming bigot, or whatever. You have a set of beliefs, and you associate yourself with those beliefs, and you vote accordingly. Which is fine. But why do you have to be so damn creepy about it?

I mean, here I am, just going about my day, when I see a report from the Conservative Political Action Congress on Salon. And they show this picture, this bit of heroic iconography, that apparently is quite the hit in poster form amongst attendees at this conference. As soon as you see the image, you'll know why I had to ask the question I had to ask.

freaky bush

You see what I mean? I don't get it. How do you cross the line and go from political philosophy to really fucking disturbing hero-worship? For all the problems the Left has in thic country, this isn't one of them. None of us had John Kerry posters on our walls, much less posters of Kerry portrayed as some heroic liberal icon. We only have the one, anyway, and portraying Kerry as MLK would probably get a bunch of people into well-deserved trouble.

There are so many things wrong with this picture, on so many levels - the Alex Ross sheen, the addition of bulging, manly, brush-clearing muscles to a man who's never had to do an honest day's work... but what's really troubling is that people felt it was a good idea to do. And other people felt it was a good idea to get this and hang it on their wall. Imagine going over to someone's house and getting hit full-on in the face with this in their foyer? You'd spend the next hour stammering, your mouth open in a silent scream of horror.

But, in the spirit of reaching out, uniting, and trying to understand our freakish countrymen, I have come up with a number of reasons someone might find this image appealing or useful.

REASON ONE: They are Grover Norquist, and it's MASTURBATION TIME, BABY. Those of you not sufficiently familiar with Grover Norquist to vomit after this sentence may substitute Tucker Carlson at no extra charge.

REASON TWO: They think it actually advocates a government takeover of Kentucky Fried Chicken, which has long been a bastion of evil communist multiculturism (see: breakdancing Colonel)..

REASON THREE: No fucking sense of perspective whatsoever.

REASON FOUR: No fucking sense of perspective whatsoever.

REASON FIVE: They actually think this is how the war in Iraq is being fought. That Dubya is rolling up his sleeves, going over there on weekends, and punching out Osama Bin Laden, who lives in the Death Star, in the middle of downtown Baghdad. Cackling.

REASON SIX: Concerned with America's burgeoning obesity epidemic, they think the solution is surgically removing America's midsection. Not the "red states", just the actual midsections of every American, as portrayed in this stunning painting.

REASON SEVEN: They assume it's the first in a series of "Presidential Striptease" collectible animation cels.

REASON EIGHT: They are FUCKED IN THE HEAD.

I'm not asking you to change your politics. Or your belief system. Or your religion. All I'm asking is for you to treat your guys with the same amount of ironic detachment, cynicism, and fundamental mistrust that the rest of us normal people treat OUR guys with. They're not superheroes, they're not the personification of our national virility. They're just ratfucking politicians you think will screw you over five percent less than the other ratfuckers.

Is that too much to ask? Magic eight-ball says YES.

******
Windelina says: Whatever your politics, I hope and pray that if you are reading my journal, you too find that image disturbing. That is just so...whack.

For Twonky

Feb. 22nd, 2005 03:22 pm
windelina: (Gir's oh face)
Kitty Haiku

Wanna go outside!
Oh no! Help! I got outside!
Let me back inside!

You must scratch me there!
Yes, above my tail! Behold,
Elevator butt.

The rule for today:
Touch my tail, I shred your hand.
New rule tomorrow.

Cat meows out of angst,
"Thumbs! I f only I had thumbs!
I could break so much!"

Yes, I spilled the tea,
But it was an accident.
I needed the spoon.

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