windelina: (topofhead)
I had a nasty headache this morning, but it has receded to the mountaintops waiting for its next chance to storm the battlements.
I have ibu and decongestants manning the walls however. And I'm not afraid to use hot oil and caltrops.

Monte came to watch rehearsal last night. We did a full run thru (minus one number). Even with raggedness, it was only 2.5 hours. Sweet! (I did cut two numbers from the show, so that helps a bit.) It means that this won't be an interminable evening at the theatre.

Monte declared the show "not suck". Obviously ragged, but still fun. When they do it right, downright enjoyable. And just by having a new set of eyes watching, it forced my eyes to look anew and I was both pleased and frustrated with what I saw.
Frustrated: girls who should know the dance well "marking" it or just not knowing it - it's hard to tell. Regardless, the look on the face said "I don't take this seriously."
Pleased: I'm a pretty clever choreographer occasionally.

New thought: I think I am going to cut the reprise of "Always True to You". It just goes on forever and Lois isn't THAT good. Besides, the verses in the reprise aren't as clever. I'll review this afternoon and see.

I gave notes afterward. I'm trying to impart acting lessons in the midst of all this so I gave a brief sermon on "raising the stakes" - on making specific choices onstage, on making what you are doing important. Every character needs a reason - a life-or-death reason - for being there and being involved.
I also told them that they have until next Wednesday night to learn the dances and if I see people who don't know them, I will cut them from the dance number. If they are front and center and don't know it/won't sell it, I will move them. It motivates them. Probably because they know I mean it.
And the best moment of the night was trying to get one of my gangsters to threaten with a fist. I blocked him to threaten the other gangster with his fist, but it's the wimpiest thing I ever saw. During notes, I said,
WINDY: Ben, threaten me. *shakes fist at him*
BEN: *wimpy fist thing vaguely in my direction*
WINDY: No! Be mean! *threatens with scowl*
BEN: *wimpy fist thing even more wimpy than before*
WINDY: Ben, flip me off.
BEN: *startled* What? Really?
WINDY: Yes, flip me off.
BEN: *flips a very aggressive bird*
WINDY: Aha! Do it just like that, only without the finger!!

I was successful in finally getting a decently threatening fist. You just gotta find the right metaphor sometimes.

The set continues rather rapidly to appear. Yay. Sit-sing tonight. I'm anxious and excited to hear the orchestra.

A ton of sewing to do.

Other places of my life are not-so-good right now. I don't have time or energy to spare to address the issues. However, the suckage saps my energy and motivation. Oh, the catch-22 of it all.
windelina: (topofhead)
Autumn always excites change behaviors in me. This either revs me up with energy for plots and plans or suffuses me with restlessness and dissatisfaction with my current state.

I'm cranky-ish today. Superman died and there's a sort of ache about it - he seemed to be a true gentleman, courageous and strong. I'm feeling cut off from friends and oddly "fuck'em" about it. It's a nonsensical reaction, but it's there nonetheless. I'm feeling pretty up about where the show is, but I'm not as invested as I was for G&D. Maybe because I've proven I can do it already? Is it a sophomore slump?

I'm finding myself wondering if I should cut back on my obligations. I've got house obligations, theatre obligations, convention obligations, social obligations. Not to mention personal goals and dreams I want to pursue. I started working on the convention when I wasn't doing theatre. Now I'm doing theatre AND the convention. And I have a husband and a house. And a huge social circle.

But will my social circle suffer if I give up my visible and obvious ties to the relevant community? I mean, let's say I decided to let go of being on the board for CONvergence. How much would that impact my social ties, my opportunities to see these people I like? Hell, my social "clout"? (snork)

I don't know if I want kids, but it's obvious that my life would need a major rearrangement before it was even possible.

Right now, I'm envying people who don't "do" anything besides work and then go home and be social however seems best. I suppose it's a sign of burnout.

The thing is, I'm still engaged by all the things I do. There's still alot that I'd like to fix and improve with the convention. Theatre is a constant challenge. (I think I need to get back onstage and soon. I think I'm suffering long-term withdrawal effects. I haven't performed onstage in almost two years. So that's probably a contributing factor to my restless unhappiness.) There's nothing I'm doing that I'm actually bored with.

But I'm feeling overwhelmed.

Oh - and I don't really enjoy my job. I don't mind it, but surely there's a better way to spend the majority of my life? I'm getting older and resenting wasted time more. Then again, how many people get paid to surf the internet for whatever catches their fancy?
windelina: (Superman)
Hm. I'm in a Beatles mood. I should dig them out.

So, the cold improves daily. I'm still congested-sounding, but barely in need of tissue any longer. And the cough is intermittent and not annoying. I know you're all relieved.

Friday night was awfully fun. So many of "our people" at Sky Captain. I liked it! Was it a great movie? No. Was it a fun movie? Yes! And Jude Law can be my roguish counterpart any day. We stopped by Roadkill's party briefly afterward, but both Monte and I were fading fast from illness.

I ended up skipping the auditions Saturday and slept till NOON. A good choice for me as I started feeling noticeably better finally. I got online to send an email to the director to apologize for the no-show and let him know if he needed anything - chorus, whatever - to think of me. And what do I find? An email from HIM asking if I'm still interested.

So. I'm doing a show in June! I didn't even have to audition. Woot! It's a small, glorified chorus part (with a SOLO, thank you), but hey - I didn't even audition for it! The show is "Applause" - the musical version of "All About Eve". I am "Bonnie", a gypsy dancer and I sing the titular song, apparently. Whee! I feel so much better knowing I have a performing gig in the future. Paying, even. And it gives my physical improvement goals a deadline. Performs in June, so I'll be done by con. Even better, I'll be in the easy "performing, not rehearsing" part a whole month before the con.

Both Monte and I slept in on Sunday. And puttered. And I choreographed while he went to another store meeting.

And we watched the whole original Star Wars trilogy over the weekend. We are considered buying "Empire" on DVD, because word is that Lucas has fucked with it the least. And it's the best of the movies. Soooo good.

Things I need to do:
- continue choreographing
- get a jump start on the costuming
- call CarolAnn
- chiro appointment
- nail down what exactly is happening with the orchestra
- dread maintenance

And other deep-seated shifts are percolating in the substrata.

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April 2008

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