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We put the FUN in dysfunction!
Dec. 27th, 2004 02:49 pmMy dad embezzled money from his family. He lied about his income so he didn't have to pay as much child support. He lied on the stand during the child custody court proceedings. He tried to convince his dying mother NOT to leave the house to his sister but to sell it and give the money to him.
My older brother is currently in prison.
My twin brother is a hopefully recovering drug addict who hasn't held a steady job in years.
My mom, bless her, is the black sheep of her family. Which is fine with me as I mostly don't like that part of the family much either.
My blood family is Fucked Up. Which makes Monte and I even, since his mom is Totally Whacked.
Which is why I am ever so pleased with my adopted family - all of you guys.
I got used to my fucked-up-family long ago and it stopped hurting long ago. Now it bemuses and amuses me mostly, provides good fodder for stories, and allows me an excuse to rant about annoying human behaviors.
Mom thinks I should do a stand-up routine. Between Family and Tumor Boy - I've got most of the major dysfunctions covered!
In other Stupid Human Behaviors, Monte has an aunt and uncle (on father's side) who are evangelical Christians. They go on "mission trips" to impoverished African countries and write them off. What do they do on these mission trips? They stay with wealthier members of the church and meet with other wealthy people to convince them to join the church - and donate money to it.
Yep, they're fundraising.
It doesn't match up to a drug-addict and an ex-con for brothers, but it keeps Monte in the game. We like to keep score. Although Monte's mom scored a Yahtzee with her uterus-renting ploy.
My older brother is currently in prison.
My twin brother is a hopefully recovering drug addict who hasn't held a steady job in years.
My mom, bless her, is the black sheep of her family. Which is fine with me as I mostly don't like that part of the family much either.
My blood family is Fucked Up. Which makes Monte and I even, since his mom is Totally Whacked.
Which is why I am ever so pleased with my adopted family - all of you guys.
I got used to my fucked-up-family long ago and it stopped hurting long ago. Now it bemuses and amuses me mostly, provides good fodder for stories, and allows me an excuse to rant about annoying human behaviors.
Mom thinks I should do a stand-up routine. Between Family and Tumor Boy - I've got most of the major dysfunctions covered!
In other Stupid Human Behaviors, Monte has an aunt and uncle (on father's side) who are evangelical Christians. They go on "mission trips" to impoverished African countries and write them off. What do they do on these mission trips? They stay with wealthier members of the church and meet with other wealthy people to convince them to join the church - and donate money to it.
Yep, they're fundraising.
It doesn't match up to a drug-addict and an ex-con for brothers, but it keeps Monte in the game. We like to keep score. Although Monte's mom scored a Yahtzee with her uterus-renting ploy.
