Suck It!

Alrighty!
wombat_socho, eldogo, davedujour, pied_piper70, iguana, 433, luno

Lunch today.

Speak ASAP if you can't make it after all, or if there's a problem with time/location.

How about 12:30.
At Jimmy John's.

Let's make it the Jimmy John's down on 9th & Marquette (in the Medical Arts Building, near Target).
(There's one in Block E as well. If you'd prefer that, speak up tres pronto.)

I finally got the Stillwater rehearsal calendar planned out. Oh thank my stars and garters. What a huge frikkin' relief.

I have loads of other work to do.

And I get to see my Monte tonight. It was lonely in bed last night without him.

I need to get my fondue pot back from moneygod so that I can make that white chocolate fondue thing that people liked at the last party.

And in an obligatory aside, Monte and I have decided to we need another pet. So we're purchasing a llama.


Llamallamalamamamamamalllamamallamamallamallama LLAMA!

The building was really swaying yesterday afternoon. I could hear it creaking and moaning, and then when I got up from my desk - there were little piles of paint chips all down the hall. From where huge cracks had appeared in the walls.

That's never happened before!

I saw fayde briefly on the bus this morning as she was getting off. Don't know how I missed her being there. Then again, I'm feeling like crap this morning.
Hi Fayde!

As mentioned, I feel like crap. I have a chiro appointment this morning, which will help. But I just want to sleep. And my stomach feels like it's on fire. The barometric pressure is probably pretty high too. And my period just started. (TMI? Bite me.)
I think I should declare a three-foot do-not-cross perimeter around myself today.
Probably safest for all involved.

Rehearsals are exhausting. 6:30-10pm. It's a long rehearsal. That extra half hour just does something. By 9:30 we're all dopey, logey and flagging. I get home at 10:30 wrung out and exhausted. Luckily, tonight is the last night like that. My next choreographic rehearsal is Saturday afternoon where I will *fingers crossed* finish teaching everything. So, any rehearsals after that will need alot less intense focus.

I am way behind on the Spring Scenes for Stillwater. Dammit.

'Furbabies' Is A Killing Word

Memo to rich people with dogs: YOU ARE DUMB.

Really dumb. I mean really, really fucking dumb. You have to be really really fucking dumb, by the laws of our capitalist society. You must be so dumb that you are willing to pay exorbitant prices to pamper your coprovorous barkmachine in ways that utterly defy even the little I know about canine nature. Because if you didn't, I wouldn't be able to see the website for the Top Dog Country Club.

Bit of backstory. I was listening to Air America, which, as talk radio goes, has two unique qualities. First, it's full of lefty ranting. And second, they'll take advertising from anybody with ten bucks and a cassette tape. Penis-enlargement, unions, good-parenting advocates, and any number of other hopeless causes. And an ad for the Top Dog Country Club. An ad that, when I heard it, I assumed at first it had to be a parody. But it's all too real.

Located in the deep outer-ring suburbs of the Twin Cities metro area (out past Excelsior, for you locals), the Top Dog Country Club is, as it claims, more than a kennel. Gratuitiously more. Needlessly more. DUMB more. The site's opening Flash animation, in fact, gives you an idea of how much more. ACTUAL FLASH QUOTE TIME!

"Somewhere between the flirting, the 5-6 hours of play time everyday, the party favors and the birthday cake, the pool parties, and take-off and splashdown, listening to Frank Sinatra, the dance lessons, the massages, and the bedtime stories, you realize this place is nothing like a kennel." - No, it's more like some PLANET OF THE DOGS nightmare world where humans are reduced to slaves, providing bored puppies with more and more sybaritic entertainment to sate their decadent Roman Empire desires.

They call it "Club Med for Dogs". Dogs don't need a Club Med. They are dogs. They're not tiny, furry people. They're a whole separate species, with their own separate needs and desires apart from human ones. Among the things dogs do not fucking well need in the slightest:

SUITES: While I can understand, perhaps, not wanting to put your companion in a tiny cage in a kennel for a week while you visit the Bahamas, there has got to be some kind of middle ground between that, and these fucking Top Dog "suites". With heated faux-stone floors and piped-in Frank Sinatra music. They're not quite as fancy as the descriptions make them sound - the pictures on the website make them look a bit like Martha Stewart's prison cell - but still. Suites.

FANCY BEDS: Specifically, "orthopedic beds with tapestry covers on custom-made wrought-iron frames". If your dog can tell the difference between a tapestry bed-cover and a ratty cushion on the floor, then you raised that dog to be a prick. And he learned it by watching you.

FULL-SIZE HEATED SWIMMING POOL: I have no words.

BEDTIME STORIES: They're DOGS! They don't speak ENGLISH! At most, they can be trained to respond to maybe a dozen or so different words, and they're almost ALL VERBS. This makes narrative a challenge. Did I mention that these people are being paid what I presume is an obscene amount of money (since their website studiously avoids the subject) to read bedtime stories to dogs? Because I'm not entirely sure I can stress that enough.

BIRTHDAY PARTIES: Studies of wild dogs have shown that rarely, if ever, do they keep track of the date. Rarely, if ever, do they mark the passage of time since their birth. And they never, EVER manufacture and wear pointy paper hats, bake cakes, or light candles. Yet it seems that the staff of Top Dog Country Club is more than willing to impose all these things and more on your dog... for a price.

The "testimonials" page says it all, really. Many of Top Dog's customers think their pets are actually small children."What a joy it is to return to two puppies with smiles on their faces...I would leave my girls with no one else!" - "I have never felt good about leaving my 'furbabies' when I go on vacation..." - "I turn on the road to Top Dog, then she starts her excited puppy dance."

I will spare you the one written from the dog's point of view, because I care for your tender brains. But the fact is, shit like this "country club" ain't for the dogs. They're for the owners. Dogs do not make a huge distinction between "fresh-baked apple-cinnamon biscuit" and "their own vomit". Their owners do. Dogs do not choose a half-hour massage and a bedtime story. Their owners do. You can care for your pets, even pamper your pets, without being completely fucking obscene about it. Well, I could. You can't. Because you're dumb.

My brother-in-law got a tshirt yesterday that he didn't want, so I took it.

"If I could control my anger, I would destroy you with it."

Brilliant!

So...if Terri Schiavo dies today...






I'll stop right there.

I've taken my kitties' health off the "splurge" list. I've procrastinating about it far too long - in my defense, they've been remarkably healthy and happy and it's easy to put it off when they're like that.

There was also the challenge of getting their records - but I've finally tackled that little molehill and *fingers crossed* I should have them next week.

I've called Dr. Donna den Boer (on rahna's recommendation) and she sounds like a complete sweetie.

So, once I've got the records in hand, I'll make an appointment and get them in for a check-up and any "maintenance" required.

I'm feeling all productive. Must be spring.

Well, last night we finally finalized, finished, paid-in-full, are done with the Wedding Album. Our absolutely fabulous photographer (Wendy Woods) has been very patient with us, and we've given her full permission to mock our procrastination to all her other clients. The gods were smiling on us though - our procrastination resulted in goodness. She has a new book process that's about 1/3 the cost of the previous. So, where before we needed to shell out $1400 (we were going to be negotiating that down one way or another), last night I wrote a check for less than $500.

I am glad to have a nice wedding album, frankly. Part of me thinks it's a shameful waste of money. But darnit, it was a great event that I'm proud of, with alot of memorable moments and the only thing I'll have to show for it is a dress, some accessories, and the pictures.

Really cool? It'll have a metal cover.

And since it was only $500, I don't feel so damned frivolous about the whole thing. It also means that I've got a few spare hundreds lying about. I'm feeling a need to pay down some debt. I want to make a random spurge-y purchase for me as well, but can't decide what I should buy.

- There's the always popular DVDs (finish up my Buffy and Angel sets?)
- The porch swing (sounds like the in-laws are getting that for us as a housewarming gift)
- A flat screen monitor for home (how sad is it that I want one to save desk space?)
- An ipod

I could also do something more sensible with it like
- get the sewing machines in for a tune-up
- take the kitties to the vet for a check-up (it's been too long really - bad pet owner!)
- save it up for some house project this summer, like doors or windows or a patio

You know what...I'm gonna make this a poll. I get more responses that way. (People like clicking buttons.)

In other news: we ate at India Palace and I had nummy peshwari naan. We watched 'Incredibles' extras. I need to do a buttload of choreography tonight. I'd like to go see The Dregs - it depends on how much asskicking I'm doing on the choreography.

Tomorrow - rehearsal (teach choreography). Easter eggs with in-laws. Doubledate with s4 and spacebug. I'd like to do some work on the bathroom too.

Sunday - maybe bathroom project in morning (while Monte is at church with his family). Family dinner with in-laws to celebrate spring birthdays (which would be Monte's, Joel's and his dad's). And hopefully Wick Movie Night, although I need to finish up the rest of the choreography for the show by Monday night, because Monday Tuesday and Wednesday are all for teaching choreography.

I'm stating my intention to paint my basement next Sunday, April 3rd. Assuming that this plan takes shape properly, expect a request for assistance, and socializing, closer to the date. (Painting's fun and easy!)

I went to a Catholic College, complete with nuns roaming the campus (they had their own little convent right on campus!).
The nuns loved me - I think because I was shorter than them.

My piano teacher in college was a nun - Sister dela Salle. She was a cranky old coot and a hoot'n'ahalf to be around. I never had to act "good" around her - she loved me just the way I am.

My junior year in college (I think), Good Friday landed on April 1st. Oh, how that tempted me!! But I restrained myself to one simple elegant moment.

During my piano lesson, I turned to Sister and said:

"Did you hear? They cancelled Easter."
She looked at me skeptically.

I continued..."They found the body."

Sister merely shook her head at me (I'm sure she'd heard it all before, being an old coot of many adventures).

I made it to dinner with purplesquirrel only 15 minutes late (not bad for having to navigate Lake Street during rush hour).
And I had a tasty white cheddar cheeseburger and nummy potato wedge fries.
And we talked about directing and shows and costuming and all sorts of stuff. Theatre in all its aspects is such an odd amalgam of instinct and technique.

Mr. Purplesquirrel even paid for dinner which was tres nice of him!

(Dinner was at the Longfellow Grill which was trying too hard to be the usual individualistic - but the food was aces and the prices weren't too bad.)

Got home and confronted the reality of choreographing for Rodgers & Hammerstein.
Monte came down from upstairs and saw me standing in the middle of the living room. Just standing. "Whatcha doin'?"
"*sigh* Choreographing."

Inspiration eventually did hit, and reminded me that choreographing is a bit like exercising a muscle - you need to warm it up, and mine's been out of use since KMK. And it also reminded me that I do come up with ideas and can do this.
Is there such a thing as choreographer's block? Because I swear, I suffer a similar process as poor Charlie Kaufman in "Adaptation" when I'm trying to get my ass in gear to choreograph. "I could watch a musical for inspiration." "Let's take a break and have some ice cream." "That's enough for now, you can finish it later."

So, tonight, I start teaching it to the cast. A watershed moment in any production!

Had lunch with PiedPiper wherein we attempted Bombay Bistro but seemed to be passively discriminated against. We were told "5 minutes" and we sat and waited while table upon table emptied. And we just sat and watched while the guy behind the cash register completely ignored us. So, we walked over to Jimmy John's.
What the fuck was that about? Don't think they'll be getting money from me anytime soon.

I should go do things now.