Generosity and Reciprocation
Dec. 4th, 2002 12:34 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
windelinaI've been pondering upon this holiday season. As I frequently comment upon {wry grin}, I am poor and thus my holiday giving this year will likely be crafty, homemade or otherwise non-cash-using.
The quandary comes in what gifts I might RECEIVE. Since I cannot spend money this year, I want to say to my friends that they do not need to spend money on me. I would/could/should feel somewhat guilty for getting presents as usual when I cannot reciprocate.
Yet, isn't that sort of against the spirit of giving? If you want to give someone a present, it shouldn't be predicated upon getting one in return.
But there is the reality of how much reciprocation plays a part in our relationships. When you give and give to one person, and never get back in a measure you feel is reciprocal - you stop giving.
So, I haven't made any sweeping declarations simply because I realize that ultimately, it's not my choice. People will gift me things as they choose. Most of those on my gift list already know my situation and can take that into account as they decide on what/if to gift to me. So, I suppose it is really a non-issue.
But when I announce that I've updated my Amazon wish list, I feel like a hypocrite. "I cannot buy you anything, but here's everything that I want!" Maybe this post is just to mitigate that feeling.
The quandary comes in what gifts I might RECEIVE. Since I cannot spend money this year, I want to say to my friends that they do not need to spend money on me. I would/could/should feel somewhat guilty for getting presents as usual when I cannot reciprocate.
Yet, isn't that sort of against the spirit of giving? If you want to give someone a present, it shouldn't be predicated upon getting one in return.
But there is the reality of how much reciprocation plays a part in our relationships. When you give and give to one person, and never get back in a measure you feel is reciprocal - you stop giving.
So, I haven't made any sweeping declarations simply because I realize that ultimately, it's not my choice. People will gift me things as they choose. Most of those on my gift list already know my situation and can take that into account as they decide on what/if to gift to me. So, I suppose it is really a non-issue.
But when I announce that I've updated my Amazon wish list, I feel like a hypocrite. "I cannot buy you anything, but here's everything that I want!" Maybe this post is just to mitigate that feeling.
